Dieing can be fun sometimes + EDIT

( ORIGANAL )

Twelve O clock midnight, the streets cold and wet from the still thundering rain on the bridge. Lights fading in and out behind me as cars passed on by. I've know for years this was how it was going to end. I've never been more ready or sure this was what I wanted, but the light has become to much for me to bear these days. I've given away all of my soul, and then been left in darkness. Endlessly chasing after her glamorous rays of sunlight. Why must she run from my worship, why must I be abandoned from the warmth of her love. Teasing me constintly shining by everyday only to leave me again over and over. Darkness doesn't leave me and the sun can't find me in it. I've had enough of light I told my as I peered over the bridge heaving just tied the last cement block to my feet, dripping wet from the rain I couldn't tell if I was crying tears of joy as I rolled the cement blocks over the side. I sprung over the side after them, feeling all the weight of the world i've been carrying lifting away, and the air wooshing through my hair. My heart felt alive again burning up with joy. Then I felt the icey water hit me like a semi truck. No pain or chill could take hold of me for I was finally free. No more light, all pain, sorrow and burdens silenced in the infinate dark of my underwater grave. As the last bubbles slipped from my lips I was cradled in sweet oblivian
( EDITED VERSION )
Midnight as the city stands shuttering under the ever down fall of freezing rain. I view the sky seeking out the slightest glimmer of my lunar love above. Drenched head to toe the rain clouds forbid me. Focusing on the task at hand I continued to tie the first knot around my foot. The bridge flashed as head lights faded in & out  behind me. I have known well over years this was what I had to do. Never been more sane or ready this is what I wanted. Light has become to much for my heart to abide by in these last days of life. Given away all my soul to her, then left in darkness. Gone through an odissi hoping to catch her glamorous sunlight. Why must she resent my worship of her? Teasing me constintly, shining by everyday only to leave me again over and over. Forsaken from the warmth of her love my heart turns to ice. Darkness has alway crept in my shadows. Never has she tantalized me from the way of light before. Falling deeper into darkness I ran from the light. Furthering into darkness my heart of ice only grew colder. To late to go back the lights warmth would destroy me. I've had enough of light I told myself  as I peered over the bridge having just tied the last cement block to my feet. Dripping wet from the rain I could not tell if I was crying tears of joy as I rolled the cement blocks over the side. I sprung over the side after them, feeling all the weight of the world i've been carrying lifting away. Air whiped through my hair as I droped down from the bridge to the water below. My heart felt alive again burning up with joyess serenity. I hit the water with large splash and racket, but I was leaving this life silent and unnoticed. I felt the icey water hit me with bone splitting power. However no pain or chill could take hold of me. Soon my body began struggle. Thrashing wildly for air I awaited death. Forcing the air from my lungs I had freed myself from everything.No more light, all pain, sorrow, and burdens vanished in the still silent of the infinate dark of my Icey underwater grave. As the last bubbles slipped from my lips I was cradled in sweet oblivian.